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Monday, October 24, 2011

Song #998: "Hold It Against Me" by Britney Spears

Date: Jan 29, 2011
Weeks: 1


This song at least puts its best foot forward, with that exaggeratedly synthetic bass track. I know that when it's 80s time around here, I often complain about how fake the synthetic instruments sound. But sometime during the 90s, somebody figured out that synthesizers worked if you didn't hide, but actually emphasized that fat, artificial quality of their sound, and worked especially well as a bass line. And this is a song that uses that idea to its advantage. The song lets it fall away too often and uses it to weird effect in the bridge, but otherwise I really enjoy the synthesized bass line in the majority of this song. Sure is a pity about everything else.

I've always found Britney Spears' voice whiny and unpleasant. And this song exaggerates that whininess to obnoxious effect. And because I started in liking the bass, I guess it disappointed me that much more to discover that nothing had been done about her whiny voice. Her voice actually clashes with the rest of the music. I also really hate the obnoxious affect put on the word "hazy." Why did they do that? It seems like desperate grab for attention, the aural equivalent of a blinky light. I do like the moment after that when the bass gets extra sawtooth-y and sloppy, so at least the song follows up its worst moment with its best.

The chorus, where the bass falls away, is way too thin. It doesn't maintain interest, and Spears's voice can't keep my attention. The bridge is such a random collection of sounds that it's barely even music any more. And I checked, the video version does add some random sounds, but the audio-only version of the song is just as random and chaotic.

Lyrically... look, Weird Al has a song that is just a series of goofy pick-up lines. Before that, MxPx had a similar idea of centering a song around a couple goofy pickup lines. This is well-trod ground. And this song brings no new ideas. This is simply a dance club song about picking someone up at the dance club using a cheesy pickup line. A cheesy pickup line that is played straight, that is the center of the song, that is the central lyric of the chorus. These lyrics are dumb, and not in a knowing, winking way.

My verdict: Don't like it. The bass line is interesting and fun, but nothing else in this song is.

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