Song #940: "Glamorous" by Fergie (featuring Ludacris)

Date: Mar 24, 2007
Weeks: 2

 
 
This is one of those that came along when I wasn't paying much attention to the radio, so this is pretty much the first time I've heard it. It's an odd song for the pop charts, because it's kind of a downer. Not that there aren't sad pop songs, but they tend to aim for catharsis, like a breakup song that makes you feel better after you hear it.

But this one's just so low-key and quiet. It seems to want to be a dance club song, but imagine listening to some loud, bouncy dance hit and then this comes along and slows everything down.

Lyrically, I don't get it. Fergie wants us to know that although she dresses up like a pop star, that isn't who she really is and she still keeps it real. I think. Her only two examples of keeping it real are going to the Taco Bell drive-through and occasionally spending time with her family. The rest of the song is about having money and using it to dress up and act like a pop star. It's confused. Or maybe it's just confused me.

Then Ludacris pops up and raps about how he's got plenty of money to support their elaborate glamorous lifestyle. It's got the same weird dichotomy of how they don't need money, but money sure buys nice things. It also contains these totally unnecessary and unnatural pitch tweaks to his voice. What's the point of that? The section would be vastly improved if they'd just left his voice unaltered.

Then Fergie does that weird thing where she flashes back to dreaming about the day she'd be a famous pop star like she is right now. And it lasts just long enough to tell us that it happened. This is a weirdly Simpsons-esque narrative device (and if I could recall a specific example, I'd be quoting one here)

So it's a lyrically-confusing, low-key song with some really odd production choices. About the best thing I can say about it is that if it were playing in the background at a restaurant, I'd be able to continue my conversation without shouting.

Before I leave it, though, a couple other lyrical oddities. First, "I won't change by the glamorous". What does that mean? "I won't be changed by the glamor"? Or "I won't be changed by the glamorous people"? The grammar left me behind somewhere.

Second, why does she keep saying "flopsy, flopsy"? The lyrics sites I've seen are trying to claim she's saying "flossy" (as if that makes any more sense), but I watched her lips in the music video. It's "flopsy," I'm sure of it. Were Mopsy and Cottontail edited out of the song before it was released?

Finally, G.L.A.M.O. R.O.U.S.es? I don't think they exist.

My Verdict: Don't like it. This one's not for me, but Fergie's voice is pleasant enough in it, so I'll keep an open mind the next time I hear her sing.