Date: May 13, 1989
Weeks: 1
Bon Jovi is better than this. They are one of the bands that brought real, guitar-driven rock and roll back to the synthesizer-filled 80s. But it seems that if a band made rock with even the slightest edge to it in the 80s, they were also required to make a soft love song. And inevitably it's the soft love song that gets to the top of the charts. Thankfully, Bon Jovi has other No. 1 hits, all of which are better than this one.
The core problem here is that Jon Bon Jovi isn't much of a singer. His voice is constantly strained. His voice works with heavier rock songs because he's being accompanied by loud guitars, and his enthusiasm is more important than the actual quality of his singing. But here, with the slow tempo and relatively light guitars and drums, his voice is highlighted. And he's not up to having this spotlight. One of the lyrics is "When you get drunk, I'll be the wiiiiiiiiine." Yes, Jon Bon Jovi, you will be the whine. Ouch.
The music has a similar problem. It's.... Oh, I just realized this is a power ballad. Oh, hooray! I always struggle to come up with good examples of power ballads. So many of the ones I think of are just from hard bands making a soft song, and don't make a good example if you don't have the the context of the rest of the band's work. But this one tidily demonstrates on one song exactly what I think of when I hear the phrase: Rock music that is noticeably restrained to try to be soft. It's like a finely-tuned sportscar idling in the driveway, or a professional golfer playing mini-golf. You can tell there's power and talent present, but that power and talent isn't for this kind of work, and the contrast is jarring.
By contrast, see this acoustic performance from MTV's Unplugged. It's still not a great song, but it's a bit more sensitive and genuine and appropriate. Actually, I think the song would be better with even less. Maybe a ukulele? Thankfully, the Internet has already had that thought, and it turns out I was right. It's pretty good (audio quality issues aside).
And now to the lyrics. These are some overwrought breakup-regret lyrics. It's over, dude, move on. But here's a quick point-by-point:
"I heard your suitcase say goodbye." Seems like kind of a heavy metaphor, and it's a bit off since the suitcase probably didn't actually make any sounds. Why not "I knew your suitcase meant goodbye?"
"I know you know we've had some good times." That should just be "You know we've had some good times," but of course that doesn't fit the meter. Redundant filler to fit the meter feels like it doesn't fit the meter, either.
"I can't promise you tomorrow, but I can buy back yesterday." Or is it "I can promise you tomorrow, but I can't buy back yesterday?" Either interpretation seems valid. I can't promise that the future will be good, but I can apologize for the past. Or, I can promise the future will be better, but I can't change the past. Which is it? I really want to vote for the former, since I don't think he's in a position to promise tomorrow if he already got dumped once before.
Finally, "I'll be there for you. These five words I swear to you." Maybe it's just a pop music pet peeve of mine, but emphasizing a lyric by counting the words feels like it places a weird emphasis on the literal words, rather than their meaning. It's one thing if you're talking about "three small words," because that's a classic expression. But "these five words I swear to you?" No. Again, it feels like they wanted to say "I swear I'll be there for you," but needed something else to fit the meter.
My verdict: Don't like it. Bon Jovi is better when they are making music with a bit more edge. This feels like pandering to lovesick teenagers who are infatuated with Jon Bon Jovi.
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